Sacred Habits for Ordinary People: The Examen

Anya
Nov 12
5 min read

I haven’t always found life as a Christian easy. I love Jesus and the gospel of grace, but it was the next bit I struggled with; what living this out actually looked like. I always had this sense that I could be doing more; a perpetual hum of pressure or guilt running in the background of my life. I struggled to maintain 'God-time' and any kind of habits I put in would fizzle out. How do we live in a way that is different to the world around us, and that leads to deep inner transformation, without adding more pressure to lives that can already feel overwhelming?

In more recent years, however, I've been finding freedom in thinking about life with God a bit differently, and in looking back at some of the ancient habits and practices that got lost somewhere along the way, but that are still so relevant. This is a place where I want to share some of the more practical things that have been helping me live from God's love and goodness in the midst of day to day normal life.

I want to start this off with the Examen, and I chose this first on purpose. I think a lot of life with God is actually about learning to notice where God already is and what God is already doing, rather than trying to create a certain moment. We have so many voices that are trying to grab our attention, and these distractions will begin to shape our reality. We need a practice that helps us to notice when we are drifting. The Examen is an anchor that can pull us back to safety and love, and it can also be a great way of releasing our hopes and anxieties to God at the end of the day. It has been helping Christians for centuries (the idea came from St Ignatius, more here if you're interested). You may have heard of this already, but hopefully there is something new in this content that can help (or I’d love to hear from you too).

What I love about the Examen (apart from how fruitful it can be), is that it can be so quick! In fact, it can be as short as asking yourself two questions at the end of the day (or at a time that suits you, we sometimes do teatime). So it is a really good practice for those that find themselves in busy seasons of life. And it can include children, we do this with our kids sometimes. So it can be a two minute daily practice if that’s what you can manage, or you can make it more of a 5-10 minute pause point in your day, where you maybe light a candle or open and close with a prayer. It’s actually a great way to finish the day and bring it to God.

At its heart, the Examen is about looking back on the day you’ve just had and asking two questions (of which there are many variations, I’ll share a few at the end): For what am I most grateful? For what am I least grateful? This may seem a bit random, but actually it is teaching us something crucial; instead of just going through each day on auto-pilot, we are learning to look back and notice. When we notice what was fruitful in our day and what wasn’t, and when we keep doing this every day, we start to notice patterns. Maybe something was upsetting us more than we realised, maybe a certain habit that we thought we enjoyed isn’t helping us. Maybe we can see a moment of joy within a hard situation. Ultimately, it leads us to start to notice what in our lives is drawing us towards God, and what is drawing us away from God. Without moments to notice and process, it is all too easy to live scattered and chaotic lives that don’t reflect the hope of what we believe.

There are many models of the Examen, which you are free to look up online, or you could do it in your own way. Here is one way:

Transition into prayer

I become aware of the love with which God looks on me when I begin my prayer.

Beginning at the start of the day, reflect back on what you did, one thing at a time.

(Notice without criticism, this is about looking at each part of the day curiously and without judgment).

Once you have finished reflecting, ask two questions of the whole day:

-For what am I most grateful?

-For what am I least grateful?

(See alternative questions as well)

Speak to God about what you have noticed

Concluding Prayer

I thank God for the day I have had. I look ahead to the coming day in the light of what I have seen in my prayer and ask God for the gifts and graces I need to live my new day.

Variations

There are many variations on the Examen. I’ll include a list of different questions you can ask yourself to see if they work better for you. But it’s also worth saying that the Examen isn’t just a tool for ending the day. It can work in so many different ways to bring a sense of processing and closure to a situation. For example, you could do one at the end of the week looking back at the whole week (we do a version of this with our small group community, sharing about our weeks together). You could do an Examen at New Year, looking back at the previous year. You could do an Examen if you are going through a time of transition, like changing jobs. There are Examens for families, Examens for mental health struggles, there is even a version where you imagine yourself at the end of life looking back. If you’re interested in exploring these I suggest starting with google. The St Ignatius website is also a good place to go, and the pray as you go prayer app has different led Examens, which will take you through with music and pauses. Give it a go and see how you feel. If it doesn’t produce fruit for you then feel free to adapt or try something different (there is no point doing something simply because others find it helpful).

Alternative questions

There are many other ways to ask the same questions:

What helped draw me towards God?

What didn’t help draw me to God?

When did I give and receive the most love today?

When did I give and receive the least love today?

When did I feel most alive today?

When did I most feel life draining out of me?

When today did I have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, to others, to God, and to the world?

When did I have the least sense of belonging?

When was I happiest today?

When was I saddest?