Who to follow in a divided world

The world today is a loud place with big opinions, and no less in the church. More and more, it feels like we're living in a culture that wants to divide us on everything from our beliefs to our politics. Social media and algorithms reinforce this sense that we are one thing or the other, instead of helping us listen and learn from one another. 

It also seems like on a fundamental level we’re disagreeing about what makes a good Christian, or a good Christian leader. It feels scary - if Jesus was in the world now would we recognise him? What would his politics be? In these times it is so important that we have tools to discern which voices and leaders to follow that go deeper than simply; ‘they believe the same things as me and so I agree with them’. Or even that go beyond following a leader who appears to speak truth and have a good relationship with God. No one leader will be the same, and there is grace and room for mistakes and differences in beliefs too. But there has been a general repeating pattern in the wider church of overlooking warning signs because so much good is being done. Are there things we can look for that suggest bigger and more unhealthy patterns at work? I don’t have definitive answers because discerning these things can be hard, but the following are some thoughts. I have tried my best to base these on the Jesus I see in the Bible.  

Character over charisma 

There have been some big personalities in the church in general, and some of these have led people astray. Often these leaders are likeable; they have a charm about them which means they are easy to follow. Maybe they give captivating sermons that reflect the Bible. Maybe they have a good sense of humour or break the mould for what we expect a church leader to be like. Maybe a lot of good is coming from their ministry - they are speaking ‘truth’ and reaching others. All of these things could be the traits of a great leader - but they are not what we should base our opinion on. It is so easy for charm and charisma to lead us astray and hide deeper problems. It can seem great for a while, but inevitably a scandal or a breakdown happens, and people get hurt. Whilst this is not always easy to spot, I believe we should always look for the signs of character before charisma. Jesus says we will know people by their fruit (Matthew 7:16). Outward and obvious fruit is easy to produce and could be for show. What would it mean to look for the inner and more hidden fruit in someone’s life? Things like - how do they treat their family? How do they treat those on the edges, or people who might not be able to add value to their ministry? How grounded and present do they seem? Do they try to live within their own limits, or are they constantly busy and distracted? Do they leave a lot of hurt people in their wake? We are not judges and no leader will do these things perfectly all the time, but what we can look for are patterns or red flags that suggest something isn’t as it seems. 

Empire  

In the Bible, we see this repeating pattern of God’s kingdom looking unexpected. Often built through the underdogs, it grows in unusual places and might not always look appealing in a worldly sense. In Acts, the early church grew in and around powerful empires and worldly philosophy. And despite persecution it thrived. Christianity was an entirely different regime, not coming with swords to challenge the power and might of the Romans, but fighting darkness through the works and fruit of the spirit; through breaking chains of injustice and spiritual enslavement, as well as physical chains. It has power and potency - but in a way that looks incredibly different to what many people call ‘power’. In 312AD Constantine declared Christianity the religion of the empire and a new type of Christianity was born - one that brought some good freedoms but also some new challenges. Masses followed, some genuinely, but many likely not fully grasping what they were following. And in many ways it is still now so easy to dilute what this is really all about in order to appeal to large groups of people. Or to see big stages and crowds of followers as a sign of success. On one level I get it - we want people to know and live in this freedom. But it was never about empire and it was never about nationalism. Jesus was offered all the kingdoms of the world when he was tempted in the desert, and he refused (Matthew 4:8-10). He didn’t try to convince and persuade in order to be liked by all. The Kingdom of God is still alive and growing, but we need to look beyond the crowds and the loud voices and ask where are lives being truly transformed and changed in a meaningful way? Where are the small but beautiful acts of breakthrough that come from God? I see the Kingdom of God when someone lonely is reached out to, when a person gives time to pick up litter on the streets, or when we open our homes to people, especially to those on the edges. It is in journeying alongside somebody for years and seeing a movement towards the kind of healing or freedom that only Jesus can bring. Often the real growth of the kingdom takes time and patience. Many times it won’t look spectacular. It’s everywhere, but it’s not always where we’d expect. 

‘Ego’

For me this is one of the biggest things to look for. When I say ego, I am not talking about ‘arrogance’. And I am definitely not talking about confidence or loving ourselves, because these are good things. We all have an ego. In a Christian sense, it’s the separation of God and self; it’s the sense that we need to prove ourselves, defend ourselves or earn some kind of identity. Rather than being rooted in God’s love and living out of a place of surrender (giving up control and our idea of how things should be in order to follow God), we can live from a place of control and unyielding assuredness. We want to build up our lives and our ministries. We want them to look a certain way. We have a mission from God and it is easy to become self-important about this. A self-important leader might ignore things like signs of burnout, people who disagree or slipping into bad habits because they have a mission to carry out, and outwardly it is going well. Sometimes these leaders will simply remove people who disagree and surround themselves with ‘yes people'. It is so easy to hold tightly onto a fragile sense of self that hasn’t found healing, and it can become a shell or defence. Wounds from the past can be pushed down and buried, and emotions ignored. All of us have an ego and all of us have this shell to some extent. All of us will defend ourselves, take offence and do things to prove ourselves. But we have a choice - we can start to notice when we are doing this and allow ourselves to be challenged and make amends, or we can bunker down and keep seeking accolades or successes to make ourselves feel better. Ironically, it is failure and struggle that can start to penetrate our hard ego layers. When we allow these experiences to teach us that we are not invincible, we can start to rely on God more. We are in the best position when we are aware of our lack and saying ‘help’ to God. And God’s love is most transformative when we receive it at our most vulnerable and weakest. 

A big question to ask of a Christian leader might be: Are they able to be challenged? Are they open to being wrong? Do they say sorry? Are they able to be truly vulnerable (in appropriate ways)? And when teaching, I would be wary of a strong sense of certainty all the time. We can have beliefs, and we can hold tightly to our core beliefs, but I believe a good leader will be open to listening to others and constantly growing, rather than teaching from a stand point of being completely right. Sometimes this type of leader might seek width in their ministry at the expense of depth. Constant busyness can be a sign of prioritising works over living a well-rounded and dependent life, or at least a sign that some things could be out of balance. When we depend on God rather than ourselves, we become able to hold onto control less tightly. 

As I am writing this, I am so aware that there has been a lot of hurt caused through the church and Christianity. I’ve experienced it too. If you are reading this and it brings up pain, whether that is to do with current divisions in the church or your personal experience, I hope there is a place you can go to find some support and safety. I am also aware there are more things we can look for beyond what I've shared. I'd love to hear your thoughts. The biggest measure of a good leader, whatever church they are from, will always be love - the type of love that Jesus showed.

God is always at work, and there is hope in the world, but it might look different from what we expect. Going beyond what I have written, I want to encourage us to keep looking for the small and subtle signs of God at work, which are actually all around us. And to look for the leaders who are following Jesus and doing their best. Let’s give them all the grace and support, whilst learning how to notice those times when something is deeply off-track. 

*I want to make clear that I am not writing about my own church leaders, or anyone specifically. Rather I am addressing a general pattern in wider church culture.